This inquiry comes to us from Stacy who asked if rich people order pizza and Chinese food like all the rest of us. Her question is not so much about appetite and nutrition but framed within the context of security. Which is to say who is and who is not allowed onto the property? Anyone, everyone, even Pizza delivery guys?
While the rich might have their own chefs and kitchen staff, maybe even a brick pizza oven to boot, it's still fun to order Chinese or a couple of pizzas on a whim, right? As mentioned before, I can't answer for all the rich, especially with their varying levels of threats and security needs. But I do have some info and observations on the subject:
- If extreme wealth, royalty, leadership positions or merely fame has put you at high risk requiring 24/7 security (possibly even bodyguards) then your pizza will be dropped off at the guard station by the main gate, or with security personnel at the front door. No problem.
- If you live in a luxury high rise your pizza will be delivered to the Concierge desk and sent upstairs by a Messenger or Bellman. No problem there, either.
- If you're staying in a five-star hotel with a world class restaurant, you still might fancy a pizza in the privacy of your own room. So you call the Concierge to order it for you. Adding a handsome tip for the driver, she pays for it with cash from the Front Desk, which is simply added to your room bill. She gives the cash to the Doorman who pays the driver and then brings the stupid pizza inside to the Concierge - and it's sent upstairs by a Bellman. In a hotel of this stature it's not uncommon for the rich to tip the Bellman $50 or $100 bucks to cover not only his aggravation and extreme labor, but also that of the Doorman and Concierge as well.
- For the ordinary private rich however, things are more simple and we can order takeout with little fuss or fanfare. Mercifully this is not a paranoid household where I work, with no need for high security. But here's the sequence of events around here if our employer suddenly decides he wants a pizza for himself or his guests:
- He'll annoy me or someone on the evening shift to order it.
- We call it in to the pizza shop and give them the community gate code. Payment is made with the household credit card at the time of ordering, with a generous tip already added.
- When the delivery guy* gets to the second gate, there's a call button on the keypad which we can answer inside and open the gate by remote control.
So to fully answer your question Stacy, yes we do order pizza and Chinese. While all the delivery guys, contractors and vendors may have their iPhone cameras as you worried and knowledge of the layout, they can't miss the security cameras aimed directly at the driveway or the guard dogs running and yelping alongside their cars. And how could they know about the loaded guns inside the house, or mine for that matter?
Thanks for dropping in,
Andrew
* Our pizza delivery guy is a 170 pound female with a butch haircut, a chain belt and a big set of keys dangling from her hip. She's adorable and always full of gossip about what's going on in the neighborhood - who's having a party, who had to call EMS last week, who's car was seen sitting overnight at who's house? Sometimes I want to order a pizza myself just to catch up.
Neat question and explanation Andrew ;) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThe thanks go to you, Ryan, for reading. Glad you stopped by, Andrew.
DeleteOh my gosh, Andrew! I've always wanted to ask you this question but haven't gotten around to sending you my email of queries! Great post as usual laced with a whimsical sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that the rich actually share humble tastes and cheap thrills on occasion. If (or rather when--a girl can dream) I get rich, I wouldn't want any staff around me to deem me so crass for ordering take-out ha!
And I am simply driving mad trying to picture your genteel and sophisticated nature turn Secret Service in a drop of a hat!
-Nic
I'll look forward to your list of inquiries, Nic.
DeleteAnd just think about it; when you do become rich, you can have ALL the toppings added to your pizza, not just the two free ones like I usually have to settle for.
Thanks so much for your comment,
Agent Andrew, signing out.
Andrew, Based on all the hints and things you mentioned in your blog I am now fairly certain I know Which family you"re employed by. Apologies, got bored and idle time is well....ya know lol. Love Your blog, only way i'll get rich at this point is by winning a Huge powerball drawing.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the powerball! And if you do indeed know who I'm working for, please don't blow my cover, okay? I could be tossed out of here in a moment's notice -- and be forced to find a happier, more interesting, and higher paying position elsewhere! (How unfortunate would that be?)
DeleteAndrew
At the risk of Offending you (and probably all modern household staff) I must ask, are there any actual Jeeves left in your world? Love your blog, lets the poor $30,000 a year man to kinda know what it's like to be at least be among the rich for better or worse.
ReplyDeleteChris
I appreciate your comment so much, Chris. The whole purpose of this blog is to shed some light on the mysterious world of the rich for those of us (including myself) who are totally squeezed out.
DeleteAnd yes, there are indeed quite a few Jeeves in this profession--dedicated, loyal, protective, and well versed on any number of topics. Not just the old guard butlers, but even among the newer generations, as taught in the major butler schools. Don't judge the whole profession by my pitiful behavior. (Blabbing about your employers on the world wide web doesn't look really great on a resume! But thus far I've never found the right "fit" with a reasonable, lovable employer to let the Jeeves come out.)
Andrew
Thank you for replying to my query, Andrew. I appreciate it. Where I grew up, no one was allowed on the property unless they were family or invited guests. Deliveries were picked up at the gate. Without exception. Even staff couldn't get past the gate if they came during non-work hours.
ReplyDeleteWhen I moved to the US, I can't tell you how insecure and unsafe it made me feel that people could just drive up or walk up to the front door of a home. I still don't understand The Bling Ring concept, meaning I don't get how a bunch of bored kids are able to get into the homes of uber-wealthy celebrities. Even that disgruntled ex-employee of 'the mister' was able to get on your property and was waylaid by the gardener. When I was a kid, someone breached the gate when none of us were home; he left via ambulance. I'm guessing he thought the 100 pound German Shepherds were simply house pets. His mistake.
Anyway, thanks bunches for the in depth reply. I don't know any billionaires so wanted to know how they handled their safety and privacy since the upper middle class people I know seem disturbingly lackadaisical about their security. btw, your pizza delivery person sounds awesome.
The thanks go to you, Stacy, for asking an interesting question. The thing is, I've been in this bizarre world of the rich far too long, and everything they do and everything they're up to seems "normal" to me now. I'm loosing sight what might be interesting to others. But a fun question like this brings it back down to reality.
DeleteThanks for letting us know your background, from which your questions stem, and your inquiry about how we deal with house guests is on the ledger. (I truly despise house guests, so it could be fun and cathartic to write about!)
Andrew
Not to worry, it's all interesting. And it's wonderful to get answers to the things that perplex me. To put my childhood in perspective, my parents sold the dogs because the guy left alive. The view was if anyone comes on the property unannounced/uninvited and doesn't leave in a body bag, the dogs didn't do their jobs. But I'm guessing that unless I live in Texas, that mentality wouldn't go down too well here in the U.S. But then crime on the wealthy where I grew up is more vicious than it is here. Not South Africa bad, but bad enough.
DeleteAnyhoo, along the same vein, when you have dozens of people in the home milling about at a function, and you have all those tiny but expensive knicknacks around, are you able to do anything to prevent a theft? If you have a wealthy and lovable Winona Ryder-type kleptomaniac among your guests, can you do anything to prevent a slight of hand, and if you actually caught a guest stealing something do you confront them or do you (or the principals) just let it slide to avoid a scene? I have no idea what I'd do, especially if the guest is someone important and the item replaceable.
It's been my experience that rich people who frequently entertain seem immune to the threat or fear of thefts. Everything in the home is photographed and documented (part of my job), and well insured, you can bet. In this world, even if lovable Winona repeatedly absconded with some high-dollar item, she wouldn't be confronted, nor would she be dropped from the guest list.
DeleteSeemingly not willing to live in a bunker, the rich leave all the fret, worry, and replacement costs up to the insurance companies, which is their basic function, right?. It's my job of course to file a claim, if need be. But in the entire time I've been here I've never had to do so. Andrew
That makes sense. Everyone makes those insurance recordings. I've never known non-billionaires to worry about this specific situation either, I thought perhaps it would be different for the billionaire set, but it isn't. Too much Downton Abbey interspersed with Law & Order had my imagination going.
DeleteAnd speaking of Downton Abbey, I think it's terribly sad that the role of butler endured and even resurged in today's world but the lady's maid did not. One trusted employee to do your hair, makeup and see to your wardrobe would seem to be a godsend to a female principal. I would have thought that that role would be appreciated since women do hire (and use) stylists, makeup artists and personal shoppers quite often.
An interesting observation, Stacy. Perhaps it has something to do with a butler or house manager's job being a position of management and authority (suitable to the male ego), whereas the modern woman might eschew a somewhat more servile position as lady's maid. Pure speculation on my part, but independent positions such as personal assistant, personal secretary, and personal shoppers abound, as you say.
DeleteExactly. People still do everything a lady's maid used to do, just not combined in one person/position. And the thing is, I think anyone who could, would be handsomely paid. Imagine not having to go into a salon to get buffed, coiffed and polished, or not needing to schedule a makeup artist, nail technician and hair stylist to come to your home every time there was a function to attend or host. That person would already be on staff. As a woman, that would be the holy grail.
DeleteAnd if housekeepers, upstairs maids, valets and laundresses managed to survive the 21st century, I can't imagine a lady's maid wouldn't be in hot demand if they re-emerged from obscurity.
Thanks for letting me ramble. I hope you have fun plans for 4th of July.
Andrew Thanks for all the blogs I enjoy them sooo much !!!KEK
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, KEK. Always nice to hear from you.
DeleteAndrew
Hey Andrew it's Chris again, happy Very belated 4th!. Anyhoo I think I'll pick up a copy of your book.
ReplyDeleteAnd Happy "24th" to you, Chris! (That must have been a really bad-ass hangover!) I hope you do read the book, and let us know if you get a few laughs! It was great fun writing it. Andrew
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