Trollop Tales: Part 3

Actually, I didn't start out to write a trilogy about trollops. However some things have developed that I think you should know about. First, and to set the stage, I want to tell you something rather amusing that happened today.

When I got back from the gym in the late afternoon there was a Chevrolet parked right up close to the front door. Of course I've seen Fords and Chevy's in the employee and contractors' parking area, but never at the main entrance to the residence! Naturally my first thought was that the house was being robbed! So from the glove box I grabbed my pistol and rushed inside.

Hearing laughter from the reception hall I discovered the Trollop standing behind the bar, serving beer to two of her buddies. And when her girlfriends saw me they let out little yelps - I suppose at my appalling appearance in sweaty gym clothes, or do you think the hand gun had something to do with it? In any case I politely excused myself; "Good evening ladies," and quickly withdrew from the scene.

The fact that the Trollop feels so comfortable to come to the house when the Mister isn't here, let alone bring her friends, is something new and abysmal to me. I immediately called my spy confidant at the corporation to blow off steam. But she advised me to tread lightly (and here's the big news of the day) that the Trollop has been issued a credit card - a Visa with a $10,000 max - which is double what the last few girlfriends have been given.

While the card was issued ten days ago, my confidant also told me the only charges she's made to date are for a few items from Victoria Secret lingerie - if that paints a picture. But it's been my experience that her card will be maxed out in no time, and we can't wait to see her list of purchases.

Now the other big thing tonight, this new woman is apparently the only one the Mister is seeing these days, so at least we don't have to play musical sheets and air out the rooms in between tell-tale perfumes.

It's up to me now to readjust my attitude I guess. Ester, the upstairs maid, has already started calling her The Woman, instead of The Trollop. I've been tossing it around. The New Girlfriend is way too confusing after so many. The Latest Girlfriend could work. But I think in future I'll refer to the Trollop as the Current Girlfriend. That way none of us will be confused.

The sad news is that I doubt there's going to be any elegant high society sit-down dinners in the near future, which has always been fun around here despite the work involved. Chef is already gearing up for grilled hamburgers, Sloppy Joe's, or chili and chips. Gone are the days when we had to order caviar or lobster by overnight air!

Thanks for stopping by tonight!

Andrew